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Keith’s Theatre, 4/26/25

(Spirits conjure up memories of gallery daze, Erté & artist LeRoy Neiman)

What spirits have been haunting me lately?

Many! Read on to find out more…

As a person matures, they start a mysterious rewinding process, much like birth-in-reverse, and ghosts from the past leap out from every nook and cranny.

This past week, thanks to such forces, I relived my life in San Francisco during the 1980s and 90s.  At the time, I was employed in the commercial art world, installing art exhibitions at the Dyansen Gallery chain.  I traveled a lot on the West Coast between Beverly Hills, San Diego and Maui, where we operated four different galleries, but I was typically stationed at Dyansen Gallery in San Francisco, hanging our many Erté art retrospectives.  Erté had become the poster child for the Art Deco movement, was incredibly prolific and was well into his 80s at that time.

Installing Erté’s artwork was no small feat.  During his eight decades of life, he’d produced a plethora of original gouaches, a multitude of lithographs & serigraphs (silkscreens), as well as several bronze sculpture collections.  It was an incredibly lucrative business whereby many art dealers (as well as Erté) grew fabulously wealthy.

Arranging Erté’s bronze sculpture collections on their signature black lacquer pedestals became my favorite part, as well as the sculpture’s precision lighting.  This was still the era when halogen lighting was state of the art, and it predated the LED lighting that galleries currently use. 

Halogens were expensive to operate and generated a great deal of heat.  My favorite bulbs quickly became 50-watt PAR 36s which came in wide flood, flood, spot, as well as pin-spot versions.  These bulbs were installed in metal casings that plugged into tracks which were mounted in a steel framework known as Structura, manufactured by the Italian company, Targetti. 

Such track lighting was able to achieve dramatic effects on art which has never been equaled to date.  Structura by Targetti was and still is, the definitive method for lighting artwork, not yet surpassed.

Q50 MR16 halogen lights were the next gallery fad.  They were cheaper to use, and their burn time was significantly longer.  The problem with these bulbs – as they aged, they developed an annoying yellow cast, not at all flattering for showcasing art.  To combat the issue, General Electric developed their “Constant Color” which had a silver coating on back of the bulb, thus preventing the dreaded yellow glow that was toxic when selling expensive artwork.  As the GE brand was pricier, many galleries opted to put up with the ever-present yellow haze generated by the standard Q50 bulbs. 

My lighting memories (thanks to the invisible forces at work) morphed into recollections of some of my favorite exhibitions and artists, many of whom it was impossible to display in a negative light.  LeRoy Neiman, (1921-2012), was one such master, and his original paintings, pastels and line drawings once graced Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Clubs. 

I recalled in early autumn, 1989, about one month before San Francisco’s infamous October 1989 earthquake, when one of my most memorable shows took place.  It was the LeRoy Neiman exhibition of original Playboy Club art.

It was virtually impossible to display Neiman’s work in a negative light.

The artist was an imposing, impressive figure I might add, who towered above me at well over 6 feet and was always sporting his trademark handlebar moustache.  It was quite a sight and one I shall never forget.

Neiman’s works are pictured below from the book, LeRoy Neiman Five Decades.  A biography of Neiman can be found on Wikipedia:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LeRoy_Neiman

I can feel more ghosts in the queue just waiting to confront me, including that of artist and humorist, Charles Bragg (1931 – 2017), that Dyansen carried exclusively for many years, as well as pin-up artist, Alberto Vargas (1896-1982) who we didn’t represent. 

Those are stories for another day.  I’m exhausted from communing with the dead and need a week’s rest.

Until next time…

Beatles, 1966, LeRoy Neiman
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Hollywood, Broadway & More! Miscellaneous Sex Symbols Social Media

Keith’s Theatre, 4/19/25

What’s going on in the world this week? A lot of it I’d rather forget about…

Lots of people up in arms about who said this, who said that, but that’s what makes the world go round, don’t ’cha know…

Those struggling to hold onto power or the outsiders waiting patiently for just the right moment to pounce and strike their prey…

Here in the U.S., opposing political camps choose to go to opposite corners of the boxing ring after doing extreme battle, then take a quick break before the next round begins…

Kind of like that all over the world, don’t ’cha think?

Take a gander at France…where the leading political candidate with a huge following, Marine Le Pen, just happens to make a grave mistake no one with political aspirations would dare ever make, and then the proverbial you-know-what hits the fan.  Hooey!

A jarring revelation just arrived from the United Kingdom (land of our British colonizers), where their Supreme Court decided what a woman is.  Let me repeat that…they’ve issued a proclamation about what a woman is!

Oh, goody, goody! Thanks for the big update…as if I didn’t already know!

Of course, everyone (and their cousin Ethel) weighs in on the issue, so oodles of video footage follow their Supreme Court’s ground shaking verdict. 

Seems we’ve all fallen into a somnambulist dreamworld where up is down and right is actually left, and men suffering from situational transsexuality are really women…

Have I just coined a new term for the psychobabble crowd? Situational transsexuality? Congratulations to Keith’s Theatre for a job well done!

Let’s change the channel, shall we? I feel like talking about something else now.

Blaire White’s channel is enormously funny, and she’s usually spot-on, but Blaire can make mistakes, and I think she’s dead wrong about Dylan Mulvaney.  Dylan’s a work in progress, girl, not frozen in time and space.  TikTok’s in its own little universe, don’t ’cha know, not at all like real life, so let’s give Dylan a break since she’s in a state of metamorphosis…

Somehow during all this madness, I found myself researching Hollywood’s most enduring marriages this week.  These statistics were found on https://stacker.com/

Art & Lois Linkletter 74 years

Bob & Dolores Hope, 69 years (though no official record can be found of Hope’s 2nd marriage)

Kirk Douglas & Anne Buydens, 64 years

Steve Lawrence & Eydie Gormé, 55 years

Joanne Woodward & Paul Newman, 50 years

How’s that for longevity in marriage? Of course, with the good news goes the bad, and there was a plethora of multiple marriages I just had to rant about.  Some of the culprits like Gloria Swanson and Zsa Zsa Gabor eventually stayed with their final spouse (or perhaps died before they could get to divorce court), but others struck out every time (Elizabeth Taylor and Lana Turner come to the forefront).

There’s something intrinsically exciting about zeroing in on the multiple alliances of Hollywood celebrities from the past – Gloria Swanson’s six husbands, Elizabeth Taylor’s eight marriages to seven different men (Richard Burton twice), or Zsa Zsa Gabor’s nine husbands.  And perish the thought I mention Lana Turner’s seven husbands or her cadre of lovers, one of whom was gangster Johnny Stompanato, stabbed to death by teen daughter, Cheryl Crane. (Keith’s Theatre feature from December 2023).

Did these glamourous ladies ever find that one true love we’re all searching for?” Sniffle sniff…

Perhaps the answer was yes for Gloria Swanson and Zsa Zsa Gabor.  They both were, after all, still married at the time of their deaths.  One can only speculate with Lana Turner and Liz, who both died husbandless and quite alone. 

Elizabeth Taylor once said of Richard Burton, to whom she was married twice, “All the men after Richard were really just company.”  Apparently, Liz had completely forgotten about third husband, producer Mike Todd, who was killed in a plane accident on March 22, 1958. According to a July, 1958 article from Canadian publication, Liberty, Liz was billing herself at the time as Mrs. Michael Todd and the schmaltzy article, as told to Joe Hyams, was titled, “I’m saying goodbye to the movies!”

Until next time…

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Hollywood, Broadway & More! Miscellaneous Social Media

Keith’s Theatre, 4/11/25

I wasn’t sure I’d find the time to write anything this week while traveling to visit my mother in Indiana but somehow, I managed.  My thoughts are a bit more scattered than usual, if that’s even possible.

So, I’m all for manufacturing returning to the US, but people have forgotten what came with it.  Serious pollution as I recall, and people often forget what they don’t want to remember, don’t ’cha know…

Gary, Indiana, just came to mind (on the road from Indianapolis to Chicago).  It was impossible to drive through in 1961 since you had to close all the windows, in our ‘61 Chevy Biscayne, manufactured in Detroit.  The horrendous smell really permeated the car, so we kids pinched our noses shut, but it still got through and just wouldn’t stop.

Finally, we all rolled into Chicago, leaving the stench behind.  Off to the Chicago Zoo, the Museum of Science & Industry, and the Museum of Natural History.  Pollution was out of sight and out of mind, until we got back home to Indianapolis, where the Rock Island Refinery spewed out foul smoke 24/7!

Shall we change the channel? Let’s…

Looks as if we’re seeing fewer arrows gracing YouTube thumbnails these days, thank heavens! Glad you asked about that other silly craze…all those thumbnails sporting that “I’ve just been electrocuted!” look.

Such is the world of social media, so very much like the supermarket tabloids (rag sheets) of my youth. 

PeriscopeFilm has a YouTube channel with a huge archive of classic videos.  I was reminiscing this week about my Indianapolis high school daze, so films from my 1970 driver’s education class were on the menu…like “Mechanized Death,” “Highways of Agony,” and “Signal 53,” all terribly bloody and gruesome!

I couldn’t watch the films then and found I still couldn’t.  The worst part? The screams for help emanating from those trapped inside the mangled wreckage.  

As Shakespeare wrote in Act 1, Scene 5 of Hamlet, “O horrible! O horrible! most horrible!”

On the lighter side, I watched the latest Dylan Hour, and the guest was Tony Award winning producer, Alyah Chanelle Scott.  I was pleasantly surprised how comfortable Dylan Mulvaney is in the podcast medium, a real natural…

If I were personally in charge of the show, though, I’d have my own way of doing things, don’t ’cha know…I’d keep a lot of the current features but would shorten the broadcast to ½ hour, and add a greater variety of guests. 

Including scantily clad, hunky men bringing Miss Mulvaney her cocktails.  Did I mention that part? 

YouTube’s Panic Button is just plain funny.  Those two love to trash Lily Tino (aka Miss Congeniality) and recently came up with some very creative suggestions for Miss Thing.  Seems Lily is bewildered about why she’s constantly being “misgendered.”

Yes, Miss Congeniality, you do need vocal training and the sooner, the better.

My advice to you, if you’re so repulsed by the thought of vocal coaching, is to simply…WHISPER, WHISPER, WHISPER!

“Oh, my goodness, I’ve just come down with a terrible case of laryngitis, and I can’t speak a single, solitary word!” That line, delicately delivered, should work, if that’s even possible.  Face it, girl, you aren’t exactly the poster child for daintiness!

Furthermore, always remember to wear black, which has a thinning effect.  Come to think of it, why not imitate the Lady in Black that visited Valentino’s grave, and wear a large black veil over your head?

If you keep the veil on and don’t say a word, bet no one would ever misgender you.  Don’t ’cha think?

Until next time…