Tag: Dylan Mulvaney

(Move over Hopper & Parsons there’s a new witch around)

Have you ever had a tune playing repeatedly in your head? That happened to me this week when I remembered a spiritual my 7^th grade music teacher, Mr. Welling (aka Baby Face Welling), played one day.  He got that nickname, Baby Face, since he had pronounced dimples and talked kind of funny, if you catch my drift…

At least that’s how kids in school at the time perceived it, especially the “hoods.”  A “hood” was a young male of questionable repute, who smoked cigarettes and always wore a leather jacket, even when it was hot outside.  Never could figure that out…

“Keep in the Middle of the Road” was on Mr. Welling’s menu that day, along with a few others I’ve long since forgotten.  The one song stayed with me since it wisely advised, “Children, keep in the middle of the road, children keep in the middle of the road.  Don’t you look to the right, don’t you look to the left, just keep in the middle of the road.”

Clearly someone was trying to teach the class that moderation is preferrable to the extremes one often finds in life.  It was a very practical, Midwestern lesson, especially applicable to 1966 when the U.S. was transitioning from beatnik to hippie mode.

I decided to search out “Keep in the Middle of the Road” on YouTube, and of course, found a plethora of versions to choose from.  I’ve included a link to one below.

And while I was there, I naturally had to catch up with the latest haps in social media land!

Skye Vitiritti’s channel had an excellent review of Dylan Mulvaney’s new book, “Paper Doll,” which graciously allowed people to avoid purchasing it and subsequently vomiting over its content.  Thank you, Skye, for preventing a plethora of Dylan-induced illness.

I was expecting the worst from this book and certainly wasn’t disappointed after hearing the sordid news.  Dylan, aka Miss Thing, has named her wiener.  It’s called “Missy.”  Skye could barely keep a straight face, nor could I.  And I’ll just bet no one else in the audience could, either.

Let me simply state this is something a woman would simply never do!

Men often do it, even some gays, though I could never be bothered to participate in that dubious practice. 

Really! As if it possessed a mind all its own.  How very adolescent!

Speaking of which, I’m sure young girls have a tough enough time with female adolescence, but I wouldn’t wish the male version on my worst enemy! I believe Act 1, Scene 5 from Shakespeare’s Hamlet sums the whole experience up perfectly, “O, horrible! O, horrible! most horrible!”

And then, there’s a lot of hoopla on YouTube about someone with a big following on Tik Tok, Lily Tino.  She recently had facial feminization surgery and was revealing the results.  People are speculating as to whether she (and I use the term very loosely) really had plastic surgery at all.  Take it from a person who’s had plenty, she has, though I’m not convinced darling Lily got the best bang for her buck.

Frankly, I’ve never been able to get past the baritone voice.  Forget about facial feminization, bitch, get some laser surgery on your vocal cords, why don’t ’cha? If that’s not possible, get some training from a good vocal coach.  I know you live somewhere in the Bay Area, so Hollywood’s close by.  Plenty of vocal resources down there, so look someone up…and hurry, please, time’s a wastin’!

I also watched another clip from Gavin Newsom’s new podcast where he interviewed Tim Walz.  I’ll admit being flabbergasted when Newsom disagreed with Walz about Steve Bannon, who’d been a previous podcast guest.  Newsom spoke out in Bannon’s defense! Quite shocking yet refreshing.  Maybe there’s a glimmer of hope for our illustrious governor. 

Opening a dialogue with the opposition is a first step and I hope it continues.  With all the Getty money surrounding him, Newsom might well become Independent and perhaps Guv and the Dems will wind up in a divorce court. 

Divorce court don’t ’cha know, something near and dear to my heart since my parents trotted down that road when I was only 13.  It was just one year after my 7^th grade music class with Baby Face Welling. 

Subject for another Keith’s Theatre…the divorce years…

Until next time…