Tag: Dylan Mulvaney

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Hollywood, Broadway & More! Miscellaneous Sex Symbols Social Media

Keith’s Theatre, 4/19/25

What’s going on in the world this week? A lot of it I’d rather forget about…

Lots of people up in arms about who said this, who said that, but that’s what makes the world go round, don’t ’cha know…

Those struggling to hold onto power or the outsiders waiting patiently for just the right moment to pounce and strike their prey…

Here in the U.S., opposing political camps choose to go to opposite corners of the boxing ring after doing extreme battle, then take a quick break before the next round begins…

Kind of like that all over the world, don’t ’cha think?

Take a gander at France…where the leading political candidate with a huge following, Marine Le Pen, just happens to make a grave mistake no one with political aspirations would dare ever make, and then the proverbial you-know-what hits the fan.  Hooey!

A jarring revelation just arrived from the United Kingdom (land of our British colonizers), where their Supreme Court decided what a woman is.  Let me repeat that…they’ve issued a proclamation about what a woman is!

Oh, goody, goody! Thanks for the big update…as if I didn’t already know!

Of course, everyone (and their cousin Ethel) weighs in on the issue, so oodles of video footage follow their Supreme Court’s ground shaking verdict. 

Seems we’ve all fallen into a somnambulist dreamworld where up is down and right is actually left, and men suffering from situational transsexuality are really women…

Have I just coined a new term for the psychobabble crowd? Situational transsexuality? Congratulations to Keith’s Theatre for a job well done!

Let’s change the channel, shall we? I feel like talking about something else now.

Blaire White’s channel is enormously funny, and she’s usually spot-on, but Blaire can make mistakes, and I think she’s dead wrong about Dylan Mulvaney.  Dylan’s a work in progress, girl, not frozen in time and space.  TikTok’s in its own little universe, don’t ’cha know, not at all like real life, so let’s give Dylan a break since she’s in a state of metamorphosis…

Somehow during all this madness, I found myself researching Hollywood’s most enduring marriages this week.  These statistics were found on https://stacker.com/

Art & Lois Linkletter 74 years

Bob & Dolores Hope, 69 years (though no official record can be found of Hope’s 2nd marriage)

Kirk Douglas & Anne Buydens, 64 years

Steve Lawrence & Eydie Gormé, 55 years

Joanne Woodward & Paul Newman, 50 years

How’s that for longevity in marriage? Of course, with the good news goes the bad, and there was a plethora of multiple marriages I just had to rant about.  Some of the culprits like Gloria Swanson and Zsa Zsa Gabor eventually stayed with their final spouse (or perhaps died before they could get to divorce court), but others struck out every time (Elizabeth Taylor and Lana Turner come to the forefront).

Zsa Zsa Gabor
Gloria Swanson
Elizabeth Taylor
Lana Turner

There’s something intrinsically exciting about zeroing in on the multiple alliances of Hollywood celebrities from the past – Gloria Swanson’s six husbands, Elizabeth Taylor’s eight marriages to seven different men (Richard Burton twice), or Zsa Zsa Gabor’s nine husbands.  And perish the thought I mention Lana Turner’s seven husbands or her cadre of lovers, one of whom was gangster Johnny Stompanato, stabbed to death by teen daughter, Cheryl Crane. (Keith’s Theatre feature from December 2023).

“Did these glamourous ladies ever find that one true love we’re all searching for?” Sniffle sniff…

Perhaps the answer was yes for Gloria Swanson and Zsa Zsa Gabor.  They both were, after all, still married at the time of their deaths.  One can only speculate with Lana Turner and Liz, who both died husbandless and quite alone. 

Elizabeth Taylor once said of Richard Burton, to whom she was married twice, “All the men after Richard were really just company.”  Apparently, Liz had completely forgotten about third husband, producer Mike Todd, who was killed in a plane accident on March 22, 1958. According to a July, 1958 article from Canadian publication, Liberty, Liz was billing herself at the time as Mrs. Michael Todd and the schmaltzy article, as told to Joe Hyams, was titled, “I’m saying goodbye to the movies!”

Until next time…

Categories
Hollywood, Broadway & More! Miscellaneous Social Media

Keith’s Theatre, 4/11/25

I wasn’t sure I’d find the time to write anything this week while traveling to visit my mother in Indiana but somehow, I managed.  My thoughts are a bit more scattered than usual, if that’s even possible.

So, I’m all for manufacturing returning to the US, but people have forgotten what came with it.  Serious pollution as I recall, and people often forget what they don’t want to remember, don’t ’cha know…

Gary, Indiana, just came to mind (on the road from Indianapolis to Chicago).  It was impossible to drive through in 1961 since you had to close all the windows, in our ‘61 Chevy Biscayne, manufactured in Detroit.  The horrendous smell really permeated the car, so we kids pinched our noses shut, but it still got through and just wouldn’t stop.

Finally, we all rolled into Chicago, leaving the stench behind.  Off to the Chicago Zoo, the Museum of Science & Industry, and the Museum of Natural History.  Pollution was out of sight and out of mind, until we got back home to Indianapolis, where the Rock Island Refinery spewed out foul smoke 24/7!

Shall we change the channel? Let’s…

Looks as if we’re seeing fewer arrows gracing YouTube thumbnails these days, thank heavens! Glad you asked about that other silly craze…all those thumbnails sporting that “I’ve just been electrocuted!” look.

Such is the world of social media, so very much like the supermarket tabloids (rag sheets) of my youth. 

PeriscopeFilm has a YouTube channel with a huge archive of classic videos.  I was reminiscing this week about my Indianapolis high school daze, so films from my 1970 driver’s education class were on the menu…like “Mechanized Death,” “Highways of Agony,” and “Signal 53,” all terribly bloody and gruesome!

I couldn’t watch the films then and found I still couldn’t.  The worst part? The screams for help emanating from those trapped inside the mangled wreckage.  

As Shakespeare wrote in Act 1, Scene 5 of Hamlet, “O horrible! O horrible! most horrible!”

On the lighter side, I watched the latest Dylan Hour, and the guest was Tony Award winning producer, Alyah Chanelle Scott.  I was pleasantly surprised how comfortable Dylan Mulvaney is in the podcast medium, a real natural…

If I were personally in charge of the show, though, I’d have my own way of doing things, don’t ’cha know…I’d keep a lot of the current features but would shorten the broadcast to ½ hour, and add a greater variety of guests. 

Including scantily clad, hunky men bringing Miss Mulvaney her cocktails.  Did I mention that part? 

YouTube’s Panic Button is just plain funny.  Those two love to trash Lily Tino (aka Miss Congeniality) and recently came up with some very creative suggestions for Miss Thing.  Seems Lily is bewildered about why she’s constantly being “misgendered.”

Yes, Miss Congeniality, you do need vocal training and the sooner, the better.

My advice to you, if you’re so repulsed by the thought of vocal coaching, is to simply…WHISPER, WHISPER, WHISPER!

“Oh, my goodness, I’ve just come down with a terrible case of laryngitis, and I can’t speak a single, solitary word!” That line, delicately delivered, should work, if that’s even possible.  Face it, girl, you aren’t exactly the poster child for daintiness!

Furthermore, always remember to wear black, which has a thinning effect.  Come to think of it, why not imitate the Lady in Black that visited Valentino’s grave, and wear a large black veil over your head?

If you keep the veil on and don’t say a word, bet no one would ever misgender you.  Don’t ’cha think?

Until next time…

Categories
Hollywood, Broadway & More! Miscellaneous Sex Symbols Social Media

Keith’s Theatre, 3/28/25

(Move over Hopper & Parsons there’s a new witch around)

I was expecting the worst when I watched the Dylan Hour.  The worst, though, never came. 

Instead, I got a different look at the TikTok social media star that’s completely changed my mind.

I’m well-acquainted with the genre since I grew up watching Arthur Godfrey, Steve Allen, Jack Paar, Johnny Carson & Merv Griffin.  The lone talk show hostess arrived in the form of Virginia Graham, and I was a big fan of Girl Talk.

That type of format isn’t easy…

But Dylan more than rose to the occasion, looking relaxed, flawless and glamourous during the entire podcast, while gracefully modeling to-die-for clothing, and showing off her perfect hair and makeup.  (For the ladies in the audience, I’ll swear she’s a junior!)

It’s clearly projecting female. C’est fastoche! (as they say in France)

Most consider the starting point for Mulvaney’s rise to fame to be the TikTok videos chronicling her year-long transition to womanhood.  Next came that infamous interview at the White House with President Joe Biden, where Miss Mulvaney extolled the virtues of transitioning children.  Whether Joe Biden was completely aware of what was happening is anyone’s guess.

One can only hope Dylan’s come to her good senses about the advisability of children bypassing Tanner Stage 2 of adolescence. 

Next came Dylan’s Budweiser Light debacle, where she became poster child for the “Go Woke, Go Broke” mantra.  A lot of bad publicity followed, and more recently, Dylan’s new book, “Paper Doll,” was released to mixed reviews.

All in a day’s work for the indomitable Miss Mulvaney, who’s at the top of her craft at being the absolute center of attention, something a lot of Hollywood starlets would murder to find the secret for!

On one podcast, Dylan featured a handsome, young 21-year-old British actor, Joe Locke.  The two were sharing cocktails and whipped cream.  At one point, Dylan grabbed the Redi Whip container and squirted it directly into her mouth. 

We all get that one, Dylan! Especially Joe Locke…

I watched another episode with Dylan’s father, who’d popped up from San Diego, where presumably young Dylan was raised as a little boy.  I can see the family resemblance, since Dylan’s inherited Pop Mulvaney’s spunky entrepreneurial personality, though it’s hard to imagine Dylan ever being a little boy. 

That’s how convincing she’s become…

I see all kinds of possibilities for this podcast, and sincerely hope it continues.  It’s clear Dylan Mulvaney is here to stay, and will be around Hollywood for a long, long time.

Categories
Hollywood, Broadway & More! Memorial Miscellaneous Social Media

Keith’s Theatre, 3/22/25

(Move over Hopper & Parsons there’s a new witch around)

Have you ever had a tune playing repeatedly in your head? That happened to me this week when I remembered a spiritual my 7th grade music teacher, Mr. Welling (aka Baby Face Welling), played one day.  He got that nickname, Baby Face, since he had pronounced dimples and talked kind of funny, if you catch my drift…

At least that’s how kids in school at the time perceived it, especially the “hoods.”  A “hood” was a young male of questionable repute, who smoked cigarettes and always wore a leather jacket, even when it was hot outside.  Never could figure that out…

“Keep in the Middle of the Road” was on Mr. Welling’s menu that day, along with a few others I’ve long since forgotten.  The one song stayed with me since it wisely advised, “Children, keep in the middle of the road, children keep in the middle of the road.  Don’t you look to the right, don’t you look to the left, just keep in the middle of the road.”

Clearly someone was trying to teach the class that moderation is preferrable to the extremes one often finds in life.  It was a very practical, Midwestern lesson, especially applicable to 1966 when the U.S. was transitioning from beatnik to hippie mode.

I decided to search out “Keep in the Middle of the Road” on YouTube, and of course, found a plethora of versions to choose from.  I’ve included a link to one below.

And while I was there, I naturally had to catch up with the latest haps in social media land!

Skye Vitiritti’s channel had an excellent review of Dylan Mulvaney’s new book, “Paper Doll,” which graciously allowed people to avoid purchasing it and subsequently vomiting over its content.  Thank you, Skye, for preventing a plethora of Dylan-induced illness.

I was expecting the worst from this book and certainly wasn’t disappointed after hearing the sordid news.  Dylan, aka Miss Thing, has named her wiener.  It’s called “Missy.”  Skye could barely keep a straight face, nor could I.  And I’ll just bet no one else in the audience could, either.

Let me simply state this is something a woman would simply never do!

Men often do it, even some gays, though I could never be bothered to participate in that dubious practice. 

Really! As if it possessed a mind all its own.  How very adolescent!

Speaking of which, I’m sure young girls have a tough enough time with female adolescence, but I wouldn’t wish the male version on my worst enemy! I believe Act 1, Scene 5 from Shakespeare’s Hamlet sums the whole experience up perfectly, “O, horrible! O, horrible! most horrible!”

And then, there’s a lot of hoopla on YouTube about someone with a big following on Tik Tok, Lily Tino.  She recently had facial feminization surgery and was revealing the results.  People are speculating as to whether she (and I use the term very loosely) really had plastic surgery at all.  Take it from a person who’s had plenty, she has, though I’m not convinced darling Lily got the best bang for her buck.

Frankly, I’ve never been able to get past the baritone voice.  Forget about facial feminization, bitch, get some laser surgery on your vocal cords, why don’t ’cha? If that’s not possible, get some training from a good vocal coach.  I know you live somewhere in the Bay Area, so Hollywood’s close by.  Plenty of vocal resources down there, so look someone up…and hurry, please, time’s a wastin’!

I also watched another clip from Gavin Newsom’s new podcast where he interviewed Tim Walz.  I’ll admit being flabbergasted when Newsom disagreed with Walz about Steve Bannon, who’d been a previous podcast guest.  Newsom spoke out in Bannon’s defense! Quite shocking yet refreshing.  Maybe there’s a glimmer of hope for our illustrious governor. 

Opening a dialogue with the opposition is a first step and I hope it continues.  With all the Getty money surrounding him, Newsom might well become Independent and perhaps Guv and the Dems will wind up in a divorce court. 

Divorce court don’t ’cha know, something near and dear to my heart since my parents trotted down that road when I was only 13.  It was just one year after my 7th grade music class with Baby Face Welling. 

Subject for another Keith’s Theatre…the divorce years…

Until next time…