Category: Social Media

Social media observations by a senior citizen.

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Hollywood, Broadway & More! Miscellaneous Sex Symbols Social Media

Keith’s Theatre, 4/19/25

What’s going on in the world this week? A lot of it I’d rather forget about…

Lots of people up in arms about who said this, who said that, but that’s what makes the world go round, don’t ’cha know…

Those struggling to hold onto power or the outsiders waiting patiently for just the right moment to pounce and strike their prey…

Here in the U.S., opposing political camps choose to go to opposite corners of the boxing ring after doing extreme battle, then take a quick break before the next round begins…

Kind of like that all over the world, don’t ’cha think?

Take a gander at France…where the leading political candidate with a huge following, Marine Le Pen, just happens to make a grave mistake no one with political aspirations would dare ever make, and then the proverbial you-know-what hits the fan.  Hooey!

A jarring revelation just arrived from the United Kingdom (land of our British colonizers), where their Supreme Court decided what a woman is.  Let me repeat that…they’ve issued a proclamation about what a woman is!

Oh, goody, goody! Thanks for the big update…as if I didn’t already know!

Of course, everyone (and their cousin Ethel) weighs in on the issue, so oodles of video footage follow their Supreme Court’s ground shaking verdict. 

Seems we’ve all fallen into a somnambulist dreamworld where up is down and right is actually left, and men suffering from situational transsexuality are really women…

Have I just coined a new term for the psychobabble crowd? Situational transsexuality? Congratulations to Keith’s Theatre for a job well done!

Let’s change the channel, shall we? I feel like talking about something else now.

Blaire White’s channel is enormously funny, and she’s usually spot-on, but Blaire can make mistakes, and I think she’s dead wrong about Dylan Mulvaney.  Dylan’s a work in progress, girl, not frozen in time and space.  TikTok’s in its own little universe, don’t ’cha know, not at all like real life, so let’s give Dylan a break since she’s in a state of metamorphosis…

Somehow during all this madness, I found myself researching Hollywood’s most enduring marriages this week.  These statistics were found on https://stacker.com/

Art & Lois Linkletter 74 years

Bob & Dolores Hope, 69 years (though no official record can be found of Hope’s 2nd marriage)

Kirk Douglas & Anne Buydens, 64 years

Steve Lawrence & Eydie Gormé, 55 years

Joanne Woodward & Paul Newman, 50 years

How’s that for longevity in marriage? Of course, with the good news goes the bad, and there was a plethora of multiple marriages I just had to rant about.  Some of the culprits like Gloria Swanson and Zsa Zsa Gabor eventually stayed with their final spouse (or perhaps died before they could get to divorce court), but others struck out every time (Elizabeth Taylor and Lana Turner come to the forefront).

Zsa Zsa Gabor
Gloria Swanson
Elizabeth Taylor
Lana Turner

There’s something intrinsically exciting about zeroing in on the multiple alliances of Hollywood celebrities from the past – Gloria Swanson’s six husbands, Elizabeth Taylor’s eight marriages to seven different men (Richard Burton twice), or Zsa Zsa Gabor’s nine husbands.  And perish the thought I mention Lana Turner’s seven husbands or her cadre of lovers, one of whom was gangster Johnny Stompanato, stabbed to death by teen daughter, Cheryl Crane. (Keith’s Theatre feature from December 2023).

“Did these glamourous ladies ever find that one true love we’re all searching for?” Sniffle sniff…

Perhaps the answer was yes for Gloria Swanson and Zsa Zsa Gabor.  They both were, after all, still married at the time of their deaths.  One can only speculate with Lana Turner and Liz, who both died husbandless and quite alone. 

Elizabeth Taylor once said of Richard Burton, to whom she was married twice, “All the men after Richard were really just company.”  Apparently, Liz had completely forgotten about third husband, producer Mike Todd, who was killed in a plane accident on March 22, 1958. According to a July, 1958 article from Canadian publication, Liberty, Liz was billing herself at the time as Mrs. Michael Todd and the schmaltzy article, as told to Joe Hyams, was titled, “I’m saying goodbye to the movies!”

Until next time…

Categories
Hollywood, Broadway & More! Miscellaneous Social Media

Keith’s Theatre, 4/11/25

I wasn’t sure I’d find the time to write anything this week while traveling to visit my mother in Indiana but somehow, I managed.  My thoughts are a bit more scattered than usual, if that’s even possible.

So, I’m all for manufacturing returning to the US, but people have forgotten what came with it.  Serious pollution as I recall, and people often forget what they don’t want to remember, don’t ’cha know…

Gary, Indiana, just came to mind (on the road from Indianapolis to Chicago).  It was impossible to drive through in 1961 since you had to close all the windows, in our ‘61 Chevy Biscayne, manufactured in Detroit.  The horrendous smell really permeated the car, so we kids pinched our noses shut, but it still got through and just wouldn’t stop.

Finally, we all rolled into Chicago, leaving the stench behind.  Off to the Chicago Zoo, the Museum of Science & Industry, and the Museum of Natural History.  Pollution was out of sight and out of mind, until we got back home to Indianapolis, where the Rock Island Refinery spewed out foul smoke 24/7!

Shall we change the channel? Let’s…

Looks as if we’re seeing fewer arrows gracing YouTube thumbnails these days, thank heavens! Glad you asked about that other silly craze…all those thumbnails sporting that “I’ve just been electrocuted!” look.

Such is the world of social media, so very much like the supermarket tabloids (rag sheets) of my youth. 

PeriscopeFilm has a YouTube channel with a huge archive of classic videos.  I was reminiscing this week about my Indianapolis high school daze, so films from my 1970 driver’s education class were on the menu…like “Mechanized Death,” “Highways of Agony,” and “Signal 53,” all terribly bloody and gruesome!

I couldn’t watch the films then and found I still couldn’t.  The worst part? The screams for help emanating from those trapped inside the mangled wreckage.  

As Shakespeare wrote in Act 1, Scene 5 of Hamlet, “O horrible! O horrible! most horrible!”

On the lighter side, I watched the latest Dylan Hour, and the guest was Tony Award winning producer, Alyah Chanelle Scott.  I was pleasantly surprised how comfortable Dylan Mulvaney is in the podcast medium, a real natural…

If I were personally in charge of the show, though, I’d have my own way of doing things, don’t ’cha know…I’d keep a lot of the current features but would shorten the broadcast to ½ hour, and add a greater variety of guests. 

Including scantily clad, hunky men bringing Miss Mulvaney her cocktails.  Did I mention that part? 

YouTube’s Panic Button is just plain funny.  Those two love to trash Lily Tino (aka Miss Congeniality) and recently came up with some very creative suggestions for Miss Thing.  Seems Lily is bewildered about why she’s constantly being “misgendered.”

Yes, Miss Congeniality, you do need vocal training and the sooner, the better.

My advice to you, if you’re so repulsed by the thought of vocal coaching, is to simply…WHISPER, WHISPER, WHISPER!

“Oh, my goodness, I’ve just come down with a terrible case of laryngitis, and I can’t speak a single, solitary word!” That line, delicately delivered, should work, if that’s even possible.  Face it, girl, you aren’t exactly the poster child for daintiness!

Furthermore, always remember to wear black, which has a thinning effect.  Come to think of it, why not imitate the Lady in Black that visited Valentino’s grave, and wear a large black veil over your head?

If you keep the veil on and don’t say a word, bet no one would ever misgender you.  Don’t ’cha think?

Until next time…

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Hollywood, Broadway & More! Miscellaneous Sex Symbols Social Media

Keith’s Theatre, 3/28/25

(Move over Hopper & Parsons there’s a new witch around)

I was expecting the worst when I watched the Dylan Hour.  The worst, though, never came. 

Instead, I got a different look at the TikTok social media star that’s completely changed my mind.

I’m well-acquainted with the genre since I grew up watching Arthur Godfrey, Steve Allen, Jack Paar, Johnny Carson & Merv Griffin.  The lone talk show hostess arrived in the form of Virginia Graham, and I was a big fan of Girl Talk.

That type of format isn’t easy…

But Dylan more than rose to the occasion, looking relaxed, flawless and glamourous during the entire podcast, while gracefully modeling to-die-for clothing, and showing off her perfect hair and makeup.  (For the ladies in the audience, I’ll swear she’s a junior!)

It’s clearly projecting female. C’est fastoche! (as they say in France)

Most consider the starting point for Mulvaney’s rise to fame to be the TikTok videos chronicling her year-long transition to womanhood.  Next came that infamous interview at the White House with President Joe Biden, where Miss Mulvaney extolled the virtues of transitioning children.  Whether Joe Biden was completely aware of what was happening is anyone’s guess.

One can only hope Dylan’s come to her good senses about the advisability of children bypassing Tanner Stage 2 of adolescence. 

Next came Dylan’s Budweiser Light debacle, where she became poster child for the “Go Woke, Go Broke” mantra.  A lot of bad publicity followed, and more recently, Dylan’s new book, “Paper Doll,” was released to mixed reviews.

All in a day’s work for the indomitable Miss Mulvaney, who’s at the top of her craft at being the absolute center of attention, something a lot of Hollywood starlets would murder to find the secret for!

On one podcast, Dylan featured a handsome, young 21-year-old British actor, Joe Locke.  The two were sharing cocktails and whipped cream.  At one point, Dylan grabbed the Redi Whip container and squirted it directly into her mouth. 

We all get that one, Dylan! Especially Joe Locke…

I watched another episode with Dylan’s father, who’d popped up from San Diego, where presumably young Dylan was raised as a little boy.  I can see the family resemblance, since Dylan’s inherited Pop Mulvaney’s spunky entrepreneurial personality, though it’s hard to imagine Dylan ever being a little boy. 

That’s how convincing she’s become…

I see all kinds of possibilities for this podcast, and sincerely hope it continues.  It’s clear Dylan Mulvaney is here to stay, and will be around Hollywood for a long, long time.

Categories
Hollywood, Broadway & More! Memorial Miscellaneous Social Media

Keith’s Theatre, 3/22/25

(Move over Hopper & Parsons there’s a new witch around)

Have you ever had a tune playing repeatedly in your head? That happened to me this week when I remembered a spiritual my 7th grade music teacher, Mr. Welling (aka Baby Face Welling), played one day.  He got that nickname, Baby Face, since he had pronounced dimples and talked kind of funny, if you catch my drift…

At least that’s how kids in school at the time perceived it, especially the “hoods.”  A “hood” was a young male of questionable repute, who smoked cigarettes and always wore a leather jacket, even when it was hot outside.  Never could figure that out…

“Keep in the Middle of the Road” was on Mr. Welling’s menu that day, along with a few others I’ve long since forgotten.  The one song stayed with me since it wisely advised, “Children, keep in the middle of the road, children keep in the middle of the road.  Don’t you look to the right, don’t you look to the left, just keep in the middle of the road.”

Clearly someone was trying to teach the class that moderation is preferrable to the extremes one often finds in life.  It was a very practical, Midwestern lesson, especially applicable to 1966 when the U.S. was transitioning from beatnik to hippie mode.

I decided to search out “Keep in the Middle of the Road” on YouTube, and of course, found a plethora of versions to choose from.  I’ve included a link to one below.

And while I was there, I naturally had to catch up with the latest haps in social media land!

Skye Vitiritti’s channel had an excellent review of Dylan Mulvaney’s new book, “Paper Doll,” which graciously allowed people to avoid purchasing it and subsequently vomiting over its content.  Thank you, Skye, for preventing a plethora of Dylan-induced illness.

I was expecting the worst from this book and certainly wasn’t disappointed after hearing the sordid news.  Dylan, aka Miss Thing, has named her wiener.  It’s called “Missy.”  Skye could barely keep a straight face, nor could I.  And I’ll just bet no one else in the audience could, either.

Let me simply state this is something a woman would simply never do!

Men often do it, even some gays, though I could never be bothered to participate in that dubious practice. 

Really! As if it possessed a mind all its own.  How very adolescent!

Speaking of which, I’m sure young girls have a tough enough time with female adolescence, but I wouldn’t wish the male version on my worst enemy! I believe Act 1, Scene 5 from Shakespeare’s Hamlet sums the whole experience up perfectly, “O, horrible! O, horrible! most horrible!”

And then, there’s a lot of hoopla on YouTube about someone with a big following on Tik Tok, Lily Tino.  She recently had facial feminization surgery and was revealing the results.  People are speculating as to whether she (and I use the term very loosely) really had plastic surgery at all.  Take it from a person who’s had plenty, she has, though I’m not convinced darling Lily got the best bang for her buck.

Frankly, I’ve never been able to get past the baritone voice.  Forget about facial feminization, bitch, get some laser surgery on your vocal cords, why don’t ’cha? If that’s not possible, get some training from a good vocal coach.  I know you live somewhere in the Bay Area, so Hollywood’s close by.  Plenty of vocal resources down there, so look someone up…and hurry, please, time’s a wastin’!

I also watched another clip from Gavin Newsom’s new podcast where he interviewed Tim Walz.  I’ll admit being flabbergasted when Newsom disagreed with Walz about Steve Bannon, who’d been a previous podcast guest.  Newsom spoke out in Bannon’s defense! Quite shocking yet refreshing.  Maybe there’s a glimmer of hope for our illustrious governor. 

Opening a dialogue with the opposition is a first step and I hope it continues.  With all the Getty money surrounding him, Newsom might well become Independent and perhaps Guv and the Dems will wind up in a divorce court. 

Divorce court don’t ’cha know, something near and dear to my heart since my parents trotted down that road when I was only 13.  It was just one year after my 7th grade music class with Baby Face Welling. 

Subject for another Keith’s Theatre…the divorce years…

Until next time…

Categories
Memorial Miscellaneous Social Media

Keith’s Theatre, 2/21/25

Wanna know my take on the latest world happenings? Grab a seat & stick around…

Ouch, the present moment is too much to bear! Guess I’m sick of looking at reality.  Wanna bury my head in the sand & no wonder so many from the hippie generation opted to turn on, tune in & drop out.  Congrats, Prof. Tim Leary, for getting it right, or at least that’s how it seemed at that time.

What’s been going on in the wonderful world of social media? A trifle depressing for some & where’s my anti-depressant when needed most?

Heard the latest news concerning DEI/woke? Here’s a perfect example of how good intentions slowly went awry.  Mankind’s inclination to darkness & all that, don’t cha know.  What initially began as a goodwill gesture slowly morphed into something we’d all rather forget, though just wait & anti-DEIs will eventually adopt the same attitude, which was clearly “ram it down their throats at all costs!”

Hopefully, I’ll be long gone by that time, but probably not since I seem doomed to an endless amount of suffering.  As Grandma used to say, “I must have a been a sharmootha!” (Arabic word for whore).  Speaking of my maternal grandmother, the subject of religion just came to mind!

Palm leaves hanging everywhere on Palm Sundays, religious icons caked on Grandma’s walls.  Not just any icons, mind you, real icons from the Eastern Orthodox Church, as Grandma always emphasized. 

Of course there was her mother, my maternal great-grandmother, who’d converted to Catholicism, but that’s a different story entirely.  Some big deal back in Lebanon around 1880 where the Eastern Orthodox Church ordered the death of a family member.  That was the story as related to me, swear to God! One thing I do know, middle eastern folk are a crazy lot.  I should know ‘cause I’m one of ‘em.

Surprised someone even exercised the mental gymnastics required to convert from Eastern Orthodoxy to Catholicism because they’re mortal enemies, don’t cha know? Some existential disagreement about how the Holy Spirit was born.  Go figure…

Yes, Mom’s side was intense, but Dad’s side of the family was often more so, mostly Lutheran, with a dash of Mennonite.  I was surrounded by religion 24/7 as a child, especially at school, where the cornerstone of my education involved the “Golden Rule.”

First order of the morning, students stood at attention to say the pledge of allegiance, with hand dutifully held over heart.  Just before lunch, my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Brunson, sporting a large goiter she’d never had removed, prompted the class to stand and say the Lord’s Prayer.  The main thing that bothered me (other than the huge goiter no one dared speak of), was the Jewish kid in the class.  Joey might’ve known Kaddish, but certainly not the Lord’s Prayer & so simply bowed his head & lip-synched, trying to appear respectful.  We were just kids, what did we know? Come to think of it, what do kids really know?

Another hot topic on social media now! Plenty of opinions on both sides, some are (regrettably) quite vocal and rant on and on and on and on…

Mrs. Brunson ‘twas about the time of the landmark Murray v. Curlett Supreme Court case (separation of church & state), and I don’t believe the Lord’s Prayer went on for much longer & recall that Mrs. Brunson retired shortly afterward.  God only knows what would ensue in today’s world if such a situation arose.  Probably a shootout with assault weapons! 

No one ever would’ve considered such a thing way back when.  Too much “fear of God” in them, perhaps?

Shan’t we say? Until next time…

Categories
Hollywood, Broadway & More! Memorial Miscellaneous Social Media

Keith’s Theatre, 2/14/25

(Move over Hedda Hopper, Louella Parsons & Adela Rogers St. Johns)

Don’t cha know the latest happenings around Hollywood? I do, even stuck all the way up in San Francisco.  YouTube rules the roost, and is frequently on my menu, as I peruse the latest haps in Hollycyberworld. 

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. was confirmed on Feb. 13th, as many of you know, and Tulsi Gabbard also.  Both were former Democrats and so was I, once upon a time…light years before the Democratic Party became so horrendously out-of-touch with the average person.

Latest fad on YouTube…The Panic Button! Panic Button channel’s two gals are hysterical, reacting in novel ways to thoroughly bizarre videos.  Check it out.

Worcester, Massachusetts just made the news! It’s the latest, it’s the greatest, it’s the United States’ transexual haven.  A burning question I need answered…who, oh who is Miss Thing with the horrendous blue hairdo propped up in front of the camera? Missy Blue Hair blabbed on and on about her many disabilities.  Oh, the poor little thing! May Jesus, Mary & Joseph have mercy upon your soul.

Miss Thing, get a life, & off the screen and out of my living room! And while you’re at it, do something about your hair and that outfit! Wait, just had a brainstorm! Let’s take up a collection and send Missy Blue Hair to a Paris finishing school.  Clearly America has failed her so maybe France won’t.

Speaking of France, what in the Pope’s name is going on with Candace Owens? Ms. Owens is always so pretty and wears the latest fashions (which everyone knows I adore), but her recent video series on the first lady of France, Brigitte Macron, comes up a bit lacking.  Miss Owens’ exposé may pack a punch in the U.S., but I suspect Candace doesn’t really understand French culture, so it may go over differently there…

On vera!

Even if Candace turns out to be right about the first lady of France, doubt the French would even care and would probably throw a party celebrating Brigitte’s success in Transworldylvania!

Let’s face it…Brigitte is hot!

Lord knows the American version of Brigitte would’ve been busted on their very first foray into the public arena, having sported horrendously oversized shoes (can you say special order, size 15, boys & girls)? Regardless, Ms. Owens is a crackerjack investigative reporter so we won’t hold the fact that she’s an ardent Papist against her, shall we?

Just watched Megyn Kelly’s show, and she’s gorgeous beyond belief and wears the most stylish fashions (which everyone knows I can’t resist).  Adam Carolla was her guest that day; always enjoyed watching him on Fox Network’s “Man Show,” with former partner Jimmy Kimmel.  Those two – quite a different lot these days – wonder if they even speak now? Doubt it very much, don’t cha know!

My oh my! If only I’d been born looking like Megyn Kelly! I’d be counting all my millions now, having buried my most recent husband, and of course, on my way to Hollywood for a screen test – for the remake of Gone with the Wind.  Guess who’ll be playing Scarlett O’Hara?

C’est moi, bien sûr!

Don’t cha know! Until next time…

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Hollywood, Broadway & More! Miscellaneous Social Media

Keith’s Theatre, 1 /31/25

(Move over Hedda Hopper, Louella Parsons & Adela Rogers St. Johns)

Where, oh where is dear Miss Hedda when you need her most? We don’t miss the hideous millinery, but Keith’s Theatre sure misses her smarts.  She could’ve stopped the release of “Emilia Pérez,” with just one phone call.  So could Louella Parsons & even Adela Rogers St. Johns, as they both had a direct line to Hearst at San Simeon.  But alas, it’s 2025, which brings us to the cause célèbre at the moment, “Emilia Pérez.”

Best Picture, indeed!

I almost always keep my vicious mouth shut where Hollywood is concerned but when I was subjected to several snippets of this musical, well…the film was just screaming for a movie critic, so here goes…

                What in God’s name were you all thinking? Had I been charged with production; this idea would never have progressed past the planning stage.

Let’s see if I’ve got this straight, (70-year-old relic that I am):  a Mexican cartel kingpin decides it’s time to say bye-bye to Mr. Peepee and hello to Ms. V-jay-jay.  The entire thing is then scripted, set to atonic music, then subsequently, perish-the-thought, committed to celluloid!  

Oh, I almost forgot, someone had the bright idea to cast a transexual in the leading role, then nominate Miss Thing for best actress, thinking that’ll somehow redeem this horrendous mess. 

Piffle…

                Suffering through several minutes of this debacle was almost more than I could stomach, cannot fathom how anyone could endure the entire film, and furthermore, I’m amazed the cast could even keep a straight face while shooting.  I would’ve ended up spreadeagled on the floor, in spasmodic laughter.

Forget about potential paychecks, I’d say toodles & do triple-shifts at McDonald’s to pay my rent, thank you very much.  It clearly isn’t furthering the craft…oh wait a minute, there is no more craft! 

Don’t cha think?

Spending a lot of time these days browsing YouTube (the 21st century answer to NBC, ABC & CBS) and love the wit and wisdom of one Blaire White of The Blaire White Project.  Her reaction to selected Tik-Tok videos is especially luscious.

While we’re on the subject, what about the transexual that started it all, Christine Jorgensen? We certainly can’t forget this multi-talented lady who both acted and sang.  Her voice was soft and sultry, her nightclub acts were très chic, and don’t forget her summer stock performances as Madame Rosepettle in Arthur Kopit’s “Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mamma’s Hung You in the Closet and I’m Feelin’ So Sad.”

Handsome Brad Polumbo has recently appeared on Sky News in Australia on several occasions.  What a catch for someone! You rule, Brad!

                Jon Voight, perennially handsome & a fine actor in many films, is apparently inside the presidential circle.  Oh-so-painfully recalled the 1970 best picture Oscar win for “Midnight Cowboy,” since I was just 16, and remember all too well its initial “X” rating that was later downgraded to “R.”  It didn’t matter, though, since I couldn’t get in then and didn’t until ’72, when I turned 18.  The infamous “X” rating was all the result of one racy (at the time) scene in the men’s room with a male hustler which didn’t surprise me much, and I ended up hustling myself a few years later.  It was simply a matter of fate, or possibly God’s will?

Oh, blessèd memories of my boyhood in the 50s where endless scraps of film ended up on the cutting room floor…who could forget the censorship of the Eisenhower era? Guess we can thank the 1960s “hippie effect” for reversing that trend (yes, I was one of “those hippies”). 

Too bad the subsequent “hippie” liberation got completely out of hand, exponentially, which brings us to the present moment!

Don’t cha think, or don’t cha? Until next time…

Categories
Miscellaneous Social Media

“Old Man of 70 Looks Back”

Keith Warren

It’s 2024 & the old man looks back at the legacy hippies left behind…

Hippies, chosen ones, flower children, idealistic dreamers, let’s change the world & protest.  We’re such good philosophers & just knew we’d figure out what the Moody Blues lyrics meant…

Vocal & visible, kind of hard ta ignore, ya might say…

Drive the point home since we’all audacious & brazen & the world’s just gotta know ta

“Give Peace a Chance!”

It’s 1967’s Summer of Love…1968’s Chicago Democratic convention! Hey, it’s spring 1970,

Kent State vs Nixon…

Got your hippie psychedelic love-ins, your hippie protests…& it’s all about the war in Vietnam…

don’t cha know?

Timothy Leary, high priest sez, “Turn on, tune in, drop out!” & we’all heard & dropped acid & did lotsa drugs & chanted: “Make love, not war!” Plenty of chemicals around, always lotsa press…

Love beads & flower power…très chic hippie bell-bottoms…long hair hippie guys & braless hippie gals.  Lotsa psychedelic posters, black lights & acid-rock music & kids named Aura, Star, Raven, Moonbeam & “we’z just doin’ our own thing, baby!”

Old man regrets too late what the hippie philosophy unleashed upon this world…

Categories
Social Media

Recent Excursions into the World of Social Media

My travels through the media age began decades ago in rural Indianapolis. We lived at 96th Street & Haverstick Road and were so far out we didn’t even have a street address. Our mailman delivered to a rural route, in this instance to RR14, Box 358R. In our living room perched upon a brass stand was a simple black & white television with rabbit ears that required continual adjustment. It was 1959.

In the family kitchen was a black wall phone, hardwired into the wall by Indiana Bell, as everything was back then before the divestiture of AT&T. It was the shared “party line” of my youth. Our phone number was VI (for Victor) 6-2342. VI was called an “exchange,” and you could always tell what part of the city a person came from when you knew it. I shall never forget that shrill ring! Two shorts followed by one long notified my family of an incoming call while one long followed by two shorts, signaled my aunt and uncle living one block away to respond.

Fast-forward 64 years to 2023 and here I am faced with a world of internet, smartphones, and social media. The journey has been a long one, and especially troublesome for someone my age. In a sense, I am still that young child living at RR14, Box 358R at 96th Street & Haverstick Road in Indianapolis, in 1959.

So, here’s my travelogue over the past decade:

Facebook profile photo, 2014

My journey began in 2014 when I first was introduced to Facebook. I posted a profile, a picture of myself, let people know my username, then sat back and watched…and waited. Unsure how to proceed, I looked to other Facebook pages which didn’t help much. Later, I decided to post a video of an 86-year-old friend marching in a parade with his American Legion chapter. It was about the only thing I posted for a long time, but I’m an introvert living in the past and I really don’t like keeping an online diary.

The late Robert C. Potter, member of San Francisco Alexander Hamilton Post #448 of the American Legion

In 2015, Twitter was the next part of my adventure. The instructor of a network security class I was enrolled in requested that everyone get an account, so I dutifully complied. Students all subscribed to various Twitter feeds from users that published network security data. Some of the information was quite helpful, but there was that “click bait,” some rogue individual hoping to garner a huge following by spewing a lot of controversy. Regrettably, I encountered that a lot. Oh, well…

Instagram/YouTube profile photo

My travels led me next to Instagram, which I began experimenting with in 2019. I found this to be the easiest for me to use since photography was already a hobby of mine. I tried to find my voice, even made some reels (short videos in Instagram lingo) and I kind of did, I guess? Suffice it to say I’ve got some rather interesting followers. Check out @keiths.theatre on Instagram. Better yet, check out some of my followers!

Someone suggested Pinterest, so I stepped right up, not knowing anything about it. I still don’t get it. Could someone please explain what it’s about? Categories?

By then, I’d traveled all the way to YouTube, the most intimidating of all social media. I diligently studied popular channels, then took a flurry of Skillshare classes about making YouTube videos. Finally, time to jump in the water since I had probably learned enough not to sink, right?

Obviously, I didn’t sink, but what did I learn?

One’s channel must fill a niche and a person needs to stay in the channel’s designated lane. A cooking channel should not tackle fashion commentary or an analysis of international politics. If one must depart radically from the subject matter of an established channel, then time to start a new one. Also, shorter videos are infinitely better than longer ones. I discovered that producing YouTube content is a lot of hard work, and running a successful channel is not for the faint of heart.

Hard work, yes, but I learned videomaking & editing, how to cook, how to replace the worn-out cords on my venetian blinds, as well as all about geriatric medical issues I face. There are countless old television shows and movies to watch, as well. What a perfect way to help me to recreate the era I’ve never progressed past, the Eisenhower era. Will I ever move on? Probably not!

This entire ordeal was exhausting, so it will be a while before I plan the itinerary for my journey to the magical world of TikTok…